How I Give Meaning to My Loved One’s Memory

Thomas Michael Mautner (1951-2008)

I wrote “Lemons into Limoncello” (coming out in May HCI) to reassure you that you have everything it takes to make it through your crises and personal devastations and still come out believing that no matter how difficult your situation is, there is always a sun that comes back out to warm you; a rainbow to continue to walk towards. Life is not a flat landscape, but a series of repeated highs and lows, and a testimony to the impermanence of everything and everyone in our world. To me, that makes living well all the more urgent. It makes small and frequent celebrations –for all that we still have–that much more important.

Tom Mautner lives forever in my heart. His quick laugh, his brilliant blue eyes, his kind and gentle way of interacting with everyone whose life he touched.  These are the examples he set for me and our children.  We honor him, by living up to them.

Losing someone we  love leaves a a hole in our hearts that feels unbearable. Slowly , however, Life moves us forward, and the scars begin to heal.  You must let this happen and don’t resist. Don’t choose to stay stuck in the stagnance of an ending.  We are still here because we were chosen to LIVE, to do good works, to evolve into all we are still meant to be. Along the path back to recovery, we discover the gifts our loved ones left us through their example, and the insights we have gained about ourselves as a result of the journey together. Life now morphs into something different, yet  still extraordinary.

Our loved ones live on through our memories, and more concretely– through the ways in which we choose to  live as a result of the way in which they touched our lives.We give their presence on earth eternal meaning when we incorporate their best thoughts and behaviors into making ourselves the best we can be, in their honor.  Today, I give thanks for what Tom’s life on earth taught me and the important ways that my profound experience of losing him motivate me to go forward into my own personal Renaissance.

Today, I reflect on the gifts and the insights. I reflect on a life whose light was snuffed out way too soon. And I  continue to be grateful, for having had Thomas Michael Mautner  in my life.

If you’d like, do feel free to comment below and share the treasures of insight and gratitude that you have gained through your losses. You never know when you may inspire someone else.

..and we go on, with a stronger, wiser, better version of ourselves.


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