Sardinian born Antonio Gramsci (1891-1937) was a controversial figure because of his political views. He was one of the most important Marxist thinkers of the 20th century and spent much of his life analyzing social and political issues. Imprisoned by Mussolini’s Fascist regime, he filled more than 30 notebooks with his thoughts while incarcerated. One of the quotes he is noted for is his perspective on “indifferenza”, indifference. Whether we agree with his views or not Gramsci risked life and limb for his passionate vision for society, and openly admitted his hatred for indifference. Living, he believed, meant taking sides. Taking a stance. Having an opinion, and standing up for what one believes. Indifference, to Gramsci, meant passivity. Feeling alive was about making decisions and following them through; which was the guiding principle of his own life.
People in general are attracted to those who live their lives passionately. Many find it difficult to make a decision because they are afraid to “take sides”; afraid to commit. If you make a decision and the outcome turns out to be less than wonderful, you may be blamed for it. Those who are closest to people who are indecisive end up feeling burdened by having to make all of the decisions. The wishy-washy personality is quickly perceived as disinterested in the day to day on goings of their own life .No one wants to be around that kind of psychic inertia.
The way to turn this around is to be passionately involved with each day you are given. Turn your passive indecision into active preferences. Start by asserting yourself in making small choices and then move your way on up to more important ones. Tell your friends and family which restaurant, movie or guest menu you would prefer. Voice your preferences regarding which outfits you like best on your partner, what vegetables you want to plant in the garden this year, and exercise your right to make decisions about yourself without asking anyone else’s opinion—how you want your own hair cut, what color suit you feel like wearing, etc. This doesn’t mean you should act bossy or controlling. I can assure you that once you start playing a more active role in your life you will be perceived as incredibly more sexy and attractive .
Here’s to stepping out of “indifference” and into taking a stance!
——–For more on rebuilding a life after loss, read “Lemons into Limoncello: From Loss to Personal Renaissance with the Zest of Italy”