You Must Seek the Love You Desire

Photo courtesy of
Photo courtesy of

A novel I once read told the story of a woman who had lost her family, her home, and her job, but instead of curling up into a ball and waiting to die, she decided to “manifest” a new life. Before long she was living in a lovely little cottage, found a job to pay her bills, and then lo and behold one of the carpenters she hired to work on the cottage became the next love of her life.

Sognatori--dreamers. We all are, and to a certain extent that creative process helps us clarify and get closer to what we really need and want out of life. But as far back as Ancient Roman Times, the great thinkers knew that dreams don’t come to fruition by continuing to dream and remaining passive.

The Great Roman Poet Ovid, in his classic work on love, Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love)

  You must choose who pleases you and say so. She will not come floating down to you through the tenuous air; she must be sought, the girl whom your glance approves. Well knows the hunter where to spread his nets for the stag, well knows he in what glen the boar with gnashing teeth abides; familiar are the copses to the fowlers, and he who holds the hook is aware in what waters many fish are swimming. You too, who seek the object of lasting passion, learn first what places the maidens haunt.

This ancient wisdom still applies today, and is not incongruent with Dr. Arieti’s point on going where the type of person you want to fall in love with hangs out. If you are looking for a creative man/woman, get out and go to art galleries, museum discussions, musical concerts. If an intellectual is the best match for you, go to your local university public lectures, or the library book clubs, or to independent films. Like to stay active? Join the community ski club, or take a few ballroom or salsa dance lessons.

The point is, you won’t find the love of your life sitting in front of a TV set. So get out, have fun and look at love as something that can pop into your life at any moment.

If you have a love story you’d like to share, do comment below, and don’t forget “like” and  to share this post.


2 thoughts on “You Must Seek the Love You Desire

  1. I’d love to read that novel you mention in the first paragraph 😉 I’ve always met fascinating people in the college courses I’ve taken—whether I was 22 or 52—and I met my partner in a rhetoric class. There’s nothing sexier to me than someone who has a sharp mind and a way with words.

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