The Dolce Vita Lifestyle

Raeleen Mautner, Ph.D.

Why You Should Become Your OWN Social Director (and 3 steps to get you started)

The research is clear: Loneliness is hazardous to our health. In fact some experts claim it increases our risk of premature death by a whopping 20%. It can affect our blood pressure, our heart health, and our weight. When we are lonely we take less care of ourselves. We lose the motivation to eat right, exercise, tend to our appearance, or even socialize.

Of course being alone does not always mean you are lonely. Nor does being in company always ensure you are NOT lonely. Also worth noting is that we all have different alone-time preferences, which must be respected.  

Research shows that true loneliness involves feelings of social isolation; indicating that two important ingredients may be “missing” from our lives; EMOTIONAL SUPPORT and PHYSICAL COMPANIONSHIP. The good news is, we can do something about it. A good place to start is to take control of our social lives. One way to do that is to grab a notebook, open a calendar, and TAKE ACTION.  Here are 3 simple steps to get started:

STEP ONE: The notebook is where you want to describe WHAT you want your social life to look like. You may be looking for romantic love, new friends, stronger connections with existing friends, or reuniting with distant family members. The possibilities are endless. 

STEP TWO, be willing to do the WORK.  Designate blocks of time in your calendar to devoted to working on relationships that afford you emotional support, and scheduling activities that provide you with physical companionship (e.g., special interest groups such as book clubs, walking groups, volunteering, etc.).

STEP THREE: follow through with at least 1-2 social activities per week. This can be increased or pulled back to whatever feels right for you.

PANDEMIC NOTE: It is important above al to stay SAFE and follow the guidance of professionals and the situation in your own geographical area as it pertains to the pandemic. Some activities may require masks and/or vaccinations. When it is unsafe to interact in person, there are plenty of online discussion and special interest groups, classes, workshops. And of course, there is the telephone, facetime, skype and zoom.  The important thing is to stay connected to feel connected.

If find you are often feeling lonely, take action, even if at first you don’t feel like doing so. It can save your life; kind of like exercising–if you make social interaction a more frequent habit, you will eventually feel so much better you won’t feel right if you go without it for too long. 

REFERENCES:

Carla M. Perissinotto, MD, MHS; Irena Stijacic Cenzer, MA; Kenneth E. Covinsky, MD, MPH (2012). Loneliness in Older Persons: A Predictor of Functional Decline and Death.

ARCH INTERN MED/VOL 172 (NO. 14).

Sorkin, D; Lu, J; & Rock, K (2002). Loneliness,lack of emotional support, lack of companionship, and the likelihood of having a heart condition in an elderly sample. Annals of Behavioral Medicine 24(4) 290-298

©Raeleen Mautner, LLC 2021

2 thoughts on “Why You Should Become Your Own Social Director

  1. This is great advice. I agree it’s important to understand our own alone-time preferences and then fill in where we need it. And you’re right, there’s a difference between being alone and feeling alone. Knowing yourself is the key.

    Like

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